I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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