youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
