So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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