He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
