at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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