How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
