ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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