Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
