it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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