I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
