We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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