Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
