I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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