another moral hangover. fuck.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
