Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
