it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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