I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
