if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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