Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
