just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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