If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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