that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
