Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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