I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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