found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
