I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
