She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
