omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
