Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
