I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I didn't notice because vodka
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
