tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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