We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
