id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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