i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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