Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The air was thick with penises
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
