Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
