so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
