Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Do plants get herpes?
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