And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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