what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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