Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Be still, my beating vagina.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
