Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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