there's paper in my vomit.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
