you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
