my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
