You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
