Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
