so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
ugly people sure do ruin things
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Less talking, more tequila
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
