would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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