I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
