I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
no, he came in my armpit
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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